Our Demise
by Fantasia V
Summary: In only a matter of time, Gilbert Beilshmidt will be sent into the arms of Ivan and have his country cease it's existence. He knows what will come, the dangers, the pains, the fact that in a very short period of time he might not even be alive anymore. But in spite of all that, he finds himself spending his final hour on his enemy's territory... Why?


He closed his eyes, softly breathing in the soft aromas that could come from Roderich's house alone.  
Would this be the last time he ever got a chance to experience the lingering smell of Sachertorte, no doubtedly fresh from the oven and baked by the Austrian himself?  
Would this be the last time he ever got to even look at said Austrian? Get lost in his enchanting features, stare into soft violet eyes, run his hands teasingly through silky chestnut hair?  
Schiesse… He could feel the tears starting, hot beads of salty water running down his cheeks in small streams. He didn't want to cry. Way back when, he would have said he couldn't cry—he was too manly, too awesome.  
But he didn't know about that now.  
Would someone so awesome be tortured the way he had been?  
Fought the way he had?  
Been defeated the way he had?

Died the way he knew he was going to?  
Gilbert paused to take a fresh breath of air, he didn't know why did. Everyone said it calmed the nerves, breathing at such an abnormally slow rate, but it did nothing to him.  
Was this pre-death adrenaline? This feeling of defeat mixing with invincibility?  
Whatever it was he didn't quite comprehend it…  
Why had it led him to the Austrian's house of all places? He could be so many other places? A bar, West's place…  
Hell, he could even be making funeral arrangements!  
But no, he was here, waiting for the pianist to come and talk to him for once. Usually he just butted in, said what he needed and only stayed long enough to dirty the house.  
But no, today would be different.  
He knew it would be, it had to be.  
And thus he rang the doorbell, silently waiting for someone to answer.  
"Gilbert? What are you doing here?"  
Ah, there was the musician's voice. Soft and like the instruments he played themselves, their sweet melodies lingering the air and playing on his mind…  
"Roddy, I, um, have something to tell you."  
Silence.  
Gott, he hated this silence. He wished it could be over, just end. Waiting for the other to speak was just all too unbearable.  
"Well, what is it?" The Austrian spoke with his usual impatience at having been interrupted from his dear piano time. Gilbert knew it probably irked him to see him of all people, waiting on his doorstep.  
Despite how much he wanted to, no… How much he needed to, words completely failed him. The Prussian opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out.  
"Gilbert? Are you feeling well? Come inside…"  
Before he could argue, Roderich had gently taken ahold of his hand, violet eyes examining his face for any hints on what could have caused such a radical change of personality. After all, it wasn't like Gilbert to ring the doorbell and be so… well, quiet. Something had to be wrong and Roderich was afraid that he knew just what it was.  
There had been talk recently—a lot of rumors, half of which may not have even been true, but the majority were all about the Prussian standing before him. They were saying terrible things. How it was his fault and that he had to pay one way or another. While the pianist himself had done his best to steer away from such dreadful conversation, he couldn't help but overhear such things and cringe for reasons he couldn't understand.  
"R-Roderich, I really have to tell you something," Gilbert spoke again. He had followed the Austrian inside, followed him to the living room where rather than collapsing on the couch as he normally did, simply stood. His hands were fidgeting with one another now, fingers nervously twitching as his crimson eyes darted to the floor to avoid the other's concerned gaze.  
"What is it?" He asked softly, even though he feared he already knew what the problem was.  
"I-I…"  
Roderich could feel himself getting nauseated as the Prussian spoke, trying to force out the words. Mein gott… It couldn't be true could it? All those rumors and talks in between meetings… No, it couldn't be. There was no way that would ever happen, right? Even if it did, he didn't want to hear it. Couldn't he just forget and pretend? He wanted to do nothing more than that oh so badly as Gilbert continued, tears now streaming down his cheeks.  
"Gilbert," He whispered softly. "I'm so very very sorry…" The Austrian could feel himself beginning to cry now but brushed off the tears with the sleeve of his coat in an attempt to maintain some composure.  
This wasn't right. Why was he upset that Gilbert would be leaving him? He was always bothering him, wasn't he? Always interfering with his work, messing up his house, invading his privacy… The list went on and on. He should have been rejoicing that the albino was now leaving him, but instead he felt as if someone had shot him right in the heart. No, if anything, he felt that that would have been better than the pain and agony he was experiencing now.  
"Nein, i-it's not that," Gilbert finally managed to choke out in between sobs. "I-I mean that is happening, but…" He was now leaning heavily onto the Austrian for support, his head buried into the fabric of his shirt as tears left big wet blobs onto the dark blue material.  
Roderich could feel his arms moving of their own accord, going on to embrace the crying Prussian and pulling him in close. He wanted to be reassuring, to tell him that everything would be alright, but he knew it would be nothing but a lie, an obvious and completely blatant lie. Nonetheless, it was a lie he personally wanted to believe, a lie he wanted to be the truth. It was impossibly he knew, but he couldn't help but keep on wishing for it.  
"But what? What do you want to tell me?" Roderich asked. Calm… he wanted to keep his voice that way, strong, reassuring. As much as he felt that he would, he didn't want to break down like the Prussian in his arms. He had to stay calm, twice as calm to make up for the one who couldn't be.  
Ivory colored hair gently tickled the underneath of the pianist's chin as red eyes slowly drifted their gaze back up to stare into shining orbs of violet that were trying so hard to keep their own tears in.  
The Austrian could see his mouth open and then close soundlessly, words once again refusing to come out.  
"Gilbert—"  
Before the sentence was completed, he had been cut off by the others lips pressing gently against his. Violet eyes widened in surprise as the Prussian wrapped his arms tightly around his body, clinging to him in a childish manner before finally withdrawing.  
"I-Ich liebe dich…"  
His voice was soft, barely even a whisper, and would have been lost easily had Roderich not been listening.  
But he was listening, listening and hanging onto every word that managed to spill from the other's lips. Because in that moment, in that brief five seconds in which they had kissed, he had found out why he was so upset that Gilbert would be ripped out of his life in such a way, he had realized just why he was so important despite how much of a nuisance he was…  
It was because he loved him, too…  
Yes, it all made sense. He loved him. He loved him with all of his heart and soul and mind. This was why he had put up with the pains he brought along, this was why the Prussian had yet to be kicked out and banned from ever entering his house again.  
It was because he loved him.  
But, why did he have to realize this now of all times? It wasn't fair! How could he realize that he loved the Prussian so much, only when in a matter of hours he would be gone… possibly forever.  
"R-Roderich?" He was waiting, waiting nervously for the response that controlled his fate. Maybe he shouldn't have kissed him? That was a bit of a risky move… He was going to be gone soon, after all. He wouldn't be able to bear it if just before doing so, he heard the Austrian's rejection to his love. Roderich was his little light amidst all the the darkness, his reason for hanging on for so long. If that little light were to be put out… He didn't even want to think about it.  
"I-I…." The Austrian stuttered, the other's loss of voice now proving to be contagious as he fought to get the words out.  
A phone rang, a sharp piercing noise from inside the Prussian's pockets.  
Roderich watched with tears in his eyes as Gilbert went to get it, listening to the conversation only to make those tears stream down his cheeks and stain his shirt even more.  
"I have to go now," The albino finally told him. His voice was struggling to stay strong, pretending not to be hurt by the other's lack of a response. So this was it wasn't it? He was finally leaving. Whether he'd return dead or alive, he hadn't the faintest idea, but he had to leave all the same. It wasn't in his hands anymore.  
Roderich continued to watch as Gilbert made his way to the door, footsteps heavy as the mud from his boots stained what used to be a perfectly clean carpet, hoping that this wouldn't be the last time they did so. It couldn't be. He needed Gilbert in his life. He hated admitting so, but he did. He needed him more than anything.  
He loved all the burdens and pains that one man alone would impose upon him. He loved the way he'd break into his house, soil the rug and couch, leave empty bottles of beer everywhere. They were silly things to miss, but he couldn't get the feeling that he would.  
When the door finally swung shut, Roderich was able to open his eyes to the empty and desolate room around him. The Prussian was gone from his life, most likely for good…  
And he hadn't even managed to respond to him with those simple four words. Those four simple words that should have come so easily, but didn't. They were lost in the mess of his confused and sorrow-laden mind. They were cut off when the phone call came and even before, impossible to get out of his throat.  
But now, now that he had left, he was completely capable of saying those four words. And thus, he screamed at the emptiness of the room around him, tears cascading down his already moist enough cheeks as he sobbed.  
"Ich liebe dich, auch."


End file.
